Dani the Faux-Ninja
by princessbinas
Summary: Dani wakes up in a cave, unable to remember how she got in the cave in the first place. After stumbling upon a rather pretty ring, our favorite ghost girl finds herself wrapped up in the biggest mess she has ever gotten herself into. Only this time, Danny isn't there to help her get out of it. ONE-SHOT UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE; ADOPTION AVAILABLE.


NOTE: Dani is fully stable in this fic. As for Dani's strength, gravity doesn't affect her. Butch says that ghosts aren't affected by gravity, so her strength is indefinite (in the hard to get a good reading on due to those who love twisting words). And as for her personality, it is still close to Danny's, but due to being her own person, there are bound to be some differences. After all, who doesn't want to leap at a chance to create your own identity? That's a possible head canon I thought up for her.

Also, Hidan does NOT swear like a mad man in this, but he is still very, very disrespectful. And as for Nagato AKA Pein's title, I am really hesitant to use it. I am a Christian so; you guys should get the idea, especially if you know the Ten Commandments. But just because I don't write it, doesn't mean he doesn't think it. I will try to convey it a bit differently so that way I am comfortable and you guys don't get mad. Also this my first time writing the Akatsuki members outside of Deidara, Tobi, and Sasori.

* * *

Dani was greeted to the humid darkness of a damp cave. Sounds of splashing droplets of liquid matter filled the cave. She crawled up into a sitting position and lit her gloved hand with ectoplasm, making the surrounding shadows flee away from the ethereal light. The floor and walls of the cave were nearly completely shattered, depicting that a large scale attack went on here. The hybrid climbed onto her feet and began to walk around the cave, looking for answers to where she was now. As far as Dani knew, she did not fall asleep in a cave. However, this wouldn't be the first time she fell asleep in her ghost form since being stabilized.

After a few steps, something reflected in Dani's eye, making her flitch at the sudden brightness. She adjusted the brightness of the ball of ectoplasm in her hand and kneeled down towards the shimmer in the darkness. With a reach of her hand, Dani grasped something small and circular. It was a ring. A strange looking one at that. It was a ring with a silver band and a large purple gem in the prongs. On that gem was a weird looking symbol. Other than that, Dani thought it looked cool. So without any hesitation, she slipped the ring on her left ring finger, just to find that it was too loose there. Then she tried her middle finger. Still too big. Finally she tried her left thumb and it fit. She frowned a bit, wondering who puts rings on their thumbs. That thought back fired on herself, making her mentally point out that she was not the one to talk.

With her curiosity satisfied, Dani flew upwards, out of the cave. As soon as she was long gone, a certain masked man and a walking Venus fly trap walked into the cave just to discover what they were looking for was gone.

A little while after leaving the weird cave, Dani felt a headache come on. It nearly made her lose focus on the enjoyment of flying. That was when something really weird happened, a tall, holographic man appeared before her. The hologram was primarily black with the occasional rainbow colored static. The only thing about the hologram was that the eyes were purple with dark purple rings rippling from the pupil. This sudden appearance made Dani come to what could be considered a screeching halt in midair.

"Uh," Dani drawled out. "Hi?"

Normally Dani wouldn't be nervous, but the fact the hologram that was in front of her was not a ghost, she was not sure of what to make of the current situation. She decided to be cautious and hoping she did not run into another Vlad.

"Look for a blond man strangling another man with an orange mask." The man finally spoke.

Dani huffed with annoyance. Not liking the fact she was being bossed around. She already had enough of that and she was not going to let anyone control her. So, she did what she did with Vlad when he told her to Overshadow Danny...

"I don't even know you!" Dani snapped. "And you are NOT the boss of me!"

"Do as you are told." The man said with finality and authority before fading away.

Dani ignored the command. She had to focus on getting information so she could continue exploring the world. After all, nothing could hurt her now. Thanks to the present that was from Danny on her second birthday, she no longer had to fear about melting. Sure, the Ecto-Dejecto helped keep her stable, but it only stabilized what was left of her DNA. What Danny gave her was a pill crafted by his mom to introduce the missing fragments in her DNA. All Dani could say was that she was lucky to have people watching out for her. They had wanted her to stay, but she couldn't. She still had a lot to learn about the world around her.

Keeping this in mind, Dani carried on with her own business, closing her eyes as the wind weaved through her pure white hair like a loom. Nothing could stop her now. She was free. Free of melting. Free of Vlad and people like him.

Then another headache formed. The intensity of it caused her to lose altitude and she began to plummet towards the ground. She tried to fight of the headache, but it persisted. The headache was so disorienting that she started to fall faster and faster towards the ground. With the last of her strength, Dani decided it would be best to land somewhere safe.

Without any warning to the life on the ground, Dani crash landed. Her form skidded across the ground until she hit a tree with enough force to leave a small crack in the bark and some leaves to scatter. Dani moaned from the disorienting crash. She felt her hold on her ghost form waver as forced unconsciousness waged war on her. Dani fought vigilantly enough to see three black blobs approach her. However that wasn't meant to be. She had lost the battle and went into a dreamless dreamland.

* * *

Dani's eyes shot open as quickly as they could. They darted around, trying to figure out what happened in her bout of unconsciousness. She tried moving her arms and legs but found them bound by… Rope. She frowned.

' _Do these guys really think REGULAR ropes are gonna keep me tied up?_ ' Dani thought. ' _Oh well, less begging for me…_ '

 _Tap…_

 _Tap…_

 _Tap…_

Someone was coming. If they thought Dani was completely human, then it would be best to keep playing up that charade. After all, if they were ghost hunters or knew some, then she would be in big trouble.

Dani's neon green eyes came face to face an unfamiliar pair of amber ones. The woman in front of the ghost girl was dressed in a long, high-collared black cloak with red clouds that had white boarders. Her hair was a periwinkle color and was cropped to the nape of her neck. The final detail that Dani could see about her was the simple labret piercing that she had.

"Who are you?" Dani demanded. "And what do you want with me?"

The woman's face was not wavered by Dani's tone of voice. Only a tinge of sadness could be seen, but it was already present and it was concealed by her cloak's collar. So Dani had no way of telling what she was thinking or feeling.

"My name is Konan." The woman said in a near monotone. "This is not about what I want. You are here because Lord Pein willed you to be here. The others only carried that out."

Dani could only blink in utter confusion. While not feeling ungrateful someone wanted her, it was just the fact she didn't know these people (she now knew it was more than one person due to the apparent uniform black cloak with red clouds). And she was also adding "they tied me up" to the list at that moment.

"And why did this Lord Pein guy will me here?" Dani asked, still looking for an exact answer. "I don't know you or where I am! How do I know this is not some sort of trap?"

"This is not a trap." Konan said as she began to leave the room. "If it were, you would have been dead by now."

Those words sent shivers down Dani's spine. But that also brought up some rather unnerving questions that her two, going on three, years of life has had not answered. Mainly because she didn't want to even think about it due to how many close calls she sort of had when she melted into a puddle of ectoplasm. That question was if she was able to die.

Ghosts, from what she knew, didn't truly die when they were "fatally" wounded. Instead they would become puddles that would desperately try to reform. If they were still stable DNA wise, they would eventually pull themselves together. How fast depended on how powerful the ghost was. If not, they were doomed to a fate worse than death in terms of human opinion. However, in Dani's case (and any halfa for that matter), she knew absolutely nothing. A halfa never truly died by human standards before. And Dani only spent a few seconds as an unstable puddle. It was a scary thought that trekked in the uncharted territory.

* * *

Dani's first, in-person meeting with "Lord Pein" was by far rather intimidating in a way. Very different from when he popped up as a hologram. His numerous piercings were one thing, but the way he held himself was just cold. Colder than cold shoulder that she got when her ice powers started to manifest. Pun intended. But if there was one thing she wanted to gripe about, it would be the fact she was forced to join them. And it was all because she found the ring of one of the dead members. Pein didn't specify the purpose of the rings, nor did he say why she was chosen via this method. He could however tell that she seemed to be untapped potential. That was something among the lines of unnerving.

After the uninformative (in Dani's opinion) "lecture" from Pein, she was brought into the room where the rest of the members of the Akatsuki were at the moment. To be more accurate, it was most of them and they were a bit cringe worthy in various senses. There was one guy who was threading black tendrils through a blonde guy's arms as if they were pieces of thread. Another was a decapitated albino who was complaining about not being put back together (she had no idea why he was even still alive). Finally, there was a masked, bouncing idiot poking the blonde guy's "stitches".

"HEY KAKUZU! WILL YOU SEW ME UP ALREADY?!" the albino shouted. "THE FLOOR IS GIVING MY FACE A RUG BURN!"

"If it is giving you a rug burn, Hidan, then maybe you should stop talking." The newly named Kakuzu said.

"Bite me, Kakuzu!" Hidan snarked back just to get kicked away by the blondie's foot. "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU ASSHOLE?!"

"I don't have to answer that." The blondie stated, looking highly annoyed.

"Yeah, Deidara only answers to me!" the masked idiot said.

"I don't answer to you either, Tobi." Deidara seethed. "Now go bug someone else."

"Why would I want to do that?" the masked Tobi asked with mind numbing stupidity. "Besides, I was the one who held your hands! Heee heee!"

Deidara's eyebrows twitched in anger, and Tobi's innuendo was not helping anything. The comment actually made the blondie's face turn sick shade of green.

"No need to remind me… hm…" Deidara growled.

Kakuzu finished up on Deidara's left arm. He then gave a warning not to get his arms ripped off a second time. With that done, Kakuzu picked up Hidan's head and body, causing the decapitated albino to start letting loose even more complaints and insults.

"Does that mean we can do it again sometime?" Tobi asked.

"NO!" Deidara snapped. "Now go away before I blast you out of the window, hm!"

"You would make me into art?" Tobi asked. "How thoughtful of you!"

That did it. Dani watched as Deidara got up and picked up Tobi by the collar of his shirt. Tobi began begging for his life as he was being carried closer to the open window. Deidara was about to throw the idiot out the window when Pein spoke up.

"Put him down now."

Deidara, with a snarl etched on his face, put Tobi down. However, that did not go without retaliation. The blondie tripped the idiot by giving a painful kick to Tobi's shin, causing the masked man to fall over.

Pein made a weird hand sign, causing holograms of two people appear. One was large and had small, beady eyes and gill-esque features on his face. The other was shorter and had strange red eyes with three comma markings swirling in each of them. At the same time, Kakuzu and the fully repaired Hidan reentered the room. The latter was rubbing his neck where he got reattached.

"You didn't have to be so rough with those sick tendrils of yours!" Hidan whispered loudly.

"And you didn't have to be so loud and obnoxious." Kakuzu retorted.

"You summoned us, leader?" a gruff voice that was not Kakuzu's asked.

"Yes." Pein said. "We have a new member to welcome into our ranks. Dani."

Pein then gestured to Dani, who meekly waved her hand. Tobi began pouting about how much he wanted to become a full-fledged member. Deidara sighed, knowing that Tobi wasn't going to be assigned to him. Hidan, on the other hand, barked out a cruel laugh.

"I didn't know that puppet boy was so lousy that he could be replaced that fast!" Hidan said with a nasty grin. "Much less by a little runt who looks like a lightbulb!"

"If anyone is lousy, it is you." Kakuzu said.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled. "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

A throat clearing from the leader regained the attention of the two bickering men. Though the look in Hidan and Kakuzu's eyes did give hints they would be going back to their arguing at some point.

"Who will her partner be?" the one with the red eyes asked.

"Since Sasori is no longer with us, she will be Deidara's partner." Pein said. "But first, Hidan, you will test this girl's abilities."

"Do I get to slaughter her?" Hidan asked.

"Only if she fails our expectations." Was what Pein said.

A twisted and cruel smirk graced Hidan's face. He raced off into another room, most likely searching for something. A few seconds later, there were sounds of slicing and oddly enough, Hidan saying what was likely a really twisted prayer.

' _So much for keeping a low profile…_ ' Dani thought. ' _If I don't use my powers, I'll be dead meat!_ '

"Leader, why did you pit her against Hidan?" the red eyed man asked. "None of the former potential members you told to fight him survived."

"Itachi, you and Kisame are not here at the moment." Pein said. "If she can survive Hidan, then she will most likely survive the missions."

"Alright ladies!" Hidan called out as he held up what appeared to be a large, three pronged, red scythe and covered in blood. "I'm ready to paint the training arena red! Make sure the paint bucket doesn't escape!"

With that, Hidan threw a dangerous looking smile at Dani, causing her to gulp. It creeped her out immensely. This so was not her day. In fact, she preferred Vlad's faux love over this mess.

* * *

The training area was huge. Pipes created something among the lines of wallpaper all around the room. It was also lit by numerous torches on the walls. The only place without torches was the actually arena itself. On four of the poles that surrounded the arena were strange looking tags. Pein himself held a fifth one, identical the four on the poles. The purpose of them, Dani didn't know. Whatever it was, she was pretty sure it didn't require a person to stand next to them.

"Begin." Pein said and placed the tag on a nearby pole while making a hand sign.

At that moment, Hidan's scythe came barreling in towards Dani. Dani instinctively turned intangible, knowing there was no time to dodge the incoming blade. The blade sliced through her translucent body, making the direct hit a direct miss. The look on Hidan's face would have been priceless if she was not in this situation.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Hidan screamed looking at his clean scythe.

What Hidan said was the thought on everyone else's minds. Well, not all of them showed it. Tobi was almost as surprised as Hidan while Pein and Konan barely showed a single expression on their faces. Deidara was too distracted by his clay and Kakuzu the same way with his money. So only Konan and Pein knew that what Dani had just done was impossible.

Before Dani could even reply, she ducked as the scythe came swinging by again. It nearly chopped off a few strands of hair.

"Come on! Hold still!" Hidan said. "It's not like I am gonna chop your head off!"

"Well it sure looks like it with the way your swinging that thing!" Dani retorted.

Dani got up and began to hover in the air a bit, making Hidan even more annoyed.

"Great!" Hidan moaned. "The runt can fly! Fan-freaking-tastic!"

Hidan gave chase to Dani. They ran all over the area, or in Dani's case flew. It became apparent really quickly that Dani was definitely not a shinobi at all. On the other hand, the ones who actually paid attention to the fight wondered what Dani truly was. Pein tried to sense Dani for chakra and to his surprise found an absolute zero amount of chakra in Dani. By all means, Dani should have been long dead by that logic.

Finally, Hidan got a nick on Dani with his scythe. He gave a sadistic grin as he brought the scythe back to himself with the cable. He licked the scythe, making Dani really sick. What came next was absolutely funny to some of the more nasty members of the Akatsuki. Hidan spat out what he licked, looking utterly shocked and disgusted.

"GAK! WHAT THE HELL?!" Hidan screamed.

Hidan looked at his scythe and saw a mass of glowing green ooze covering the sharp edges of it. Despite being a moron most of the time, even Hidan knew that was without a doubt not the rich red liquid known as blood.

"WHAT IS THIS CRAP, YOU HEATHEN?!" Hidan yelled, pointing the green mess on his scythe.

"It's this!" Dani said smartly.

A ball of ectoplasm formed in her hand. Once it was a bit larger than the palm of her hand, she thrusted both of her hands in front of her, causing a beam of the energy to surge forward. The beam of ectoplasm knocked Hidan onto his back. Smoke rose from where the beam hit him. Only a hole in his cloak and soot on his skin were the signs he took any damages.

Dani raced forward, and did something else that was also impossible by all rules of shinobi reality. The girl literally passed through Hidan and didn't reappear. Instead, a green glow could be seen in Hidan's eyes, identifying that somehow, Dani was literally inside him.

"Hey everyone!" 'Hidan' yelled. "I'm Hidan! Don't let the big scythe fool ya! I use it to compensate for something else!"

The more immature members began laughing their heads off. Despite being more mature, even Kakuzu couldn't help a small snort, knowing that Hidan deserved whatever Dani was doing.

"I didn't know Hidan had a tiny dingaling!" Tobi shouted. "Why didn't you tell us, Kakuzu?"

"Because I don't peep on men," Kakuzu said flatly, "Much less that idiot."

"I was thinking about how tiny my brain is," 'Hidan' said with a few childish chuckles, "But that will do."

Suddenly, Hidan's body began to tense. A translucent body was thrown out of his body, causing it to slam against the invisible barrier. Hidan, now himself again, boiled with anger.

"HOW DARE YOU POSSESS ME AND MAKE ME SAY THAT!" Hidan seethed and raised his scythe as he ran forward. "YOU DIE HERE AND NOW, YOU LITTLE RUNT! I DON'T CARE HOW BAD YOUR BLOOD TASTES!"

Suddenly, Pein jumped in between Hidan and Dani. He raised a hand in a way a cross guard would.

"ALMIGHTY PUSH!"

Hidan yelped as he was sent flying backwards and outside the arena by an invisible force. Dani looked around and saw all five pieces of strange paper were being held by different members.

"Enough Hidan." Pein said. "The fight is over."

"HOW IS IT OVER!?" Hidan asked, looking very red in the face. "I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GOOD PART! HELL, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO PREFORM MY RITUAL ON THE RUNT!"

Pein shot a look at Hidan, making the psychotic albino mutter to himself in a fuming frenzy. After making sure Hidan wasn't going to try anything to extend the fight, he turned his eyes to Dani.

"What are you?"

Dani wasn't sure how to answer Pein's question without raising more. She could tell from the look in Pein's eyes that she could not hide anything from him. Or any of the other members from that matter. They were much smarter (surprising in Hidan and Tobi's cases) than the people in her world, especially in Amity Park. Even if she could hide anything, it would just put her at greater risk because of how she was going to have a team mate. What for she didn't know, but it still mattered because she didn't want anyone to get hurt.

"It's a very, very long story." Was Dani's reply with her head hanging down in defeat.

"We have time." Pein stated simply.

Dani began with the fact that she was clone of a boy. That shocked a few, like Tobi and made others like Hidan throw more trash talk around. The hybrid glared at Hidan when he said he could imagine how much of a wimp Danny could be. After Pein defused that potential fight, Dani continued to explain that Danny had became part ghost in a lab accident. That caused another uproar from the most obnoxious person in the peanut gallery. Deidara by that point had thrown a four legged clay spider at Tobi, threatening to blow him up if he didn't stop being annoying.

It took a while to completely explain, to say at the least, but those who were not trying to annoy everyone in the room, put two and two together that Dani was also part ghost very quickly (this included learning about her ability to swap between human form and ghost form). All they needed to know that Dani was a clone and who and what the original was.

But then came other questions like, how the heck she was even alive. That one caused some more questions like "what the heck is chakra" from Dani's end. That made it pretty clear, where Dani was from, chakra didn't even exist. Instead, they had ectoplasm (which also got explained), which only could be fully harnessed by ghosts. The mention of the paranormal green substance made Hidan cringe at the memories of the taste of it.

In the end, her story didn't change Dani's predicament at all. She was still forced to be in the rambunctious Akatsuki until the day she could successfully get back home or died, whatever came first. She was too valuable for them to lose with her ghost powers and lack of chakra. Konan called the lack of chakra a blessing in disguise. Without chakra of any kind, Dani was invisible 24/7 to a sensor type ninja who only relied on chakra signatures, thus making her very hard to track.

* * *

Over the past few days, Dani tried to feel more accustomed in the organization. For some reason, whenever Tobi came about, Dani just had awful vibes about him. He was an idiot, that was a given. There was just something horribly off about him, more so since he kept calling out Dani for stealing his spot in the Akatsuki whenever he could. It was annoying and unnerving. All she knew was that she would have to keep on her toes around him.

As for the others, Dani was also a bit uncomfortable when she was around them. She learned quickly that Hidan was a Jashinist and he had a thing for the S&M department. The ghost girl had no idea what the S&M department was, but if it involved Hidan, it was probably something disturbing. Itachi was just way too quiet and she swore if she didn't know better she would have assumed that the Uchiha was a ghost. Kisame in a way was a nice guy and was easy for Dani to relate to but due to his sadistic moments she had a hard time when it came to talking to him. Pein and Konan were just mysterious with the former having a really big superiority complex but both equally hard to read. Kakuzu had a money obsession that was glaringly obvious. Deidara, her partner, was explosive and militant and was always glaring at Itachi. There were also a few times when no one was looking; Dani caught the blond man flipping the bird at the Uchiha.

Finally, there was one being that not only sent shivers down Dani's spine, but also made her nearly throw up: Zetsu, a plant man thingy in a sense. Dani had the pleasure of accidentally running into him when he was _eating_ _a_ _human_ _corpse_. It was not the ideal first impression by any means. Not only that, he appeared to have some sort of literal split personality that could oddly enough be seen just by looking at him (as he was literally half white and half black, both sides speaking independently somehow).

At one point, Pein gave Dani her own Akatsuki cloak, and to the amusement of some of the other members, it was way too big. The length of the sleeves and lower area caused Dani to trip several times in her human form. Eventually, Deidara gave her his old one via throwing it at her. All that could be said was that Deidara was bit annoyed that Dani pulled the intangibility "trick" on him. As for the old cloak itself, it was still a bit too big, but it was a much better fit than the ones that the others wore. That meant a lot less tripping.

All in all, Dani wondered how the heck she would get out of this big mess. If she tried to escape, ghost powers or not, she would still be at big risk of a nasty attack. And if something bad were to happen to her, Danny would not be around to show them why you should not mess with his "cousin" (at this point it was safer to consider them siblings at most). So that meant the ghost girl had to learn as much as she could before trying anything. In short, that meant actually staying in the Akatsuki, much to her disappointment.

About a week or two later, Hidan and Kakuzu got sent out on a mission. A dangerous one in fact. It was to capture something known as a Jinchuriki. At first, Dani had no idea what one was and thought it was some sort of artifact or something like that. When she was told what Jinchuriki and tailed beasts were, the girl paled in more ways than one. It just seemed wrong to her, very wrong. From what she understood, the Jinchuriki were to be captured alive just to be killed while pulling out their tailed beast. This bit of knowledge went against everything that she knew was good. While she wasn't a superhero like Danny, she would never ever kill someone much less let someone get hurt. It wasn't right, and it was something that she would never wish upon anyone, not even Vlad despite all of the despicable things he had done.

A little while later, it was Dani and Deidara's turn to go hunting for a tailed beast. To Dani's relief, it was not locked up in another person. Instead, it was roaming who-knows-where. All they had were rumors that the beast was currently residing in a large lake surrounded by a large, thick temperate forest.

* * *

In Dani's room, Dani sat on her bed, which was strangely unused compared to the others considering someone named Sasori used to have this room. Her arms were wrapped around her knees as her human form's black bangs fell in her face, lamenting on what this mission could bring. From the rumors to the history, the three tails sounded pretty scary, and Dani was dissolved at one point. And that was something that she thought could never be topped in frightening factor.

"Dani, come on. Leader's getting impatient, hm."

With a roll of her eyes, Dani slipped off her bed, grabbed a map, transformed into her ghost form, and phased out of her room. Right outside, Deidara stood, with really ridiculous ink doodles decorating his visage. There was even a mustache and a monocle.

"Don't ask." Deidara said, seeing Dani's curious expression.

Dani tapped Deidara, causing him to turn towards the ghost girl, just to realize there was a weird, tingly feeling going through his body, originating where Dani was touching him. A small sound of ink splattering reached his ears. He looked at the ground and saw that he was standing in permanent ink. A golden eyebrow arched a bit as the ink seemed to have come out of nowhere. His left hand went up to his face to find that there were no ink doodles on his face. He let out a small nasal grunt and walked off, leaving Dani behind.

"What?" Dani asked, looking slightly offended. "No thank you? Sheesh."

There was no answer. With a sigh, Dani flew after Deidara to catch up to him. All she knew was this was going to be a while.

* * *

"Are you sure you know where we're going?"

"Yes, I am, hm! Stop asking me that! It's annoying!"

"I'm just asking! No need to get so uptight!"

That was almost the entire journey. Dani had felt like they were walking in circles. Part of the reason for that feel was due to being highly unfamiliar to this geography. The second, she couldn't even read the map. It wasn't that she was illiterate or anything, it was due to the fact the written language in this place was one she didn't know.

Dani tried to get Deidara to teach her what was on the map, but he kept saying stuff like "figure it out yourself" and "are you really that stupid". It was annoying on both sides of the situation. Eventually the ghost girl gave up trying to get the blondie to help her, which led to this.

Dani spotted something that looked like a small (dango) shop in the middle of nowhere. Without even letting the hothead of a partner know what she was doing, she raced ahead to the shop and stood on top of the bench.

Deidara gave another annoyed look at the girl. He was not exactly in the mood for any shenanigans at the moment. However, the only two good things about the girl he could think of were the fact she was not another Tobi and she could actually fight back adequately despite not being a ninja. He had yet to estimate her full potential, but if her battle with Hidan was anything to go by, she was someone not to take too lightly just because she lacked ninja status.

Despite that, Deidara decided to sit down and just wait for the girl to be done with whatever she was doing.

"Hello dear," the old woman running the shop said. "Would you two like some dango?"

"Yes please," Dani said, not knowing what a dango was, but wanted to try regardless. "Hey, can you also help me with something?"

"Absolutely." The old woman said.

"Do you know what these squiggles say?" Dani asked showing the old woman the map.

The old woman told the hybrid what each symbol said. Dani hastily scribbled down underneath the kanji, hiragana, and katakana everything the old lady said in her own native language, the English alphabet. Once Dani had everything down, the old woman went to the back to go make their dango.

Deidara took a peak at the map and saw the writing that the ghost girl had added. Needless to say, it looked weird to him. What was legible to Dani was nothing but squiggles to him.

"Here you go," the old woman said returning with two sticks with three spheres on each of them. "Dango for two."

The duo grabbed a stick of dango that was closest to them. Dani took a bite and she instantly fell in love with the sweet treat. She gobbled up the remaining dango with haste, causing her face to become covered in the sticky, golden brown sauce. Once she was finished, the halfa let out a small burp.

"That was so good!" Dani said with a content smile on her face.

Deidara remained silent as he continued taking his time with his dango. Dani frowned, not really liking the silence that drifted all around them.

"So, uh…" Dani drawled out. "Where are you from?"

No answer came.

"Ummm… Do you know where your parents are?"

Deidara shot a look that said "how old do you really think I am". The ghost girl pursed her lips, trying to think of a way to learn more about her partner. Then another question came.

"Do you have any friends?"

"What is with all these questions, hm?" Deidara asked, getting annoyed.

"I'm just curious, that's all." Dani stated. "I already told you and others about how I was created by some crazed up fruitloop who has an unhealthy obsession with my cousin and his mom. I just want to learn something about you. Maybe it will help us work together."

"Ugh…" Deidara groaned. "I am not going to tell you anything! There's nothing that you can learn about me!"

"Well it doesn't hurt now some of the basic things!" Dani shout back. "I don't want to wake up one morning to find out I work with a pedophile or something!"

That struck a nerve. Deidara's slanted light blue eyes slowly traveled to face Dani's large ectoplasmic green ones. His right hand traveled to one of his clay pouches. The ghost girl promptly became translucent as her intangibility kicked in. She did not want to be part of Deidara's art show or anything like that any time soon. In her mind, that equaled never.

"I thought so." Deidara huffed as he tossed his skewer to the side. "No point on wasting my clay on you if you are just going to be an intangible coward, hm."

"I'm not a coward!" Dani protested.

With that, the both of them left the dango shop. So far, Dani was a lot more tolerable than Tobi, but she was still annoying.

' _Laugh all you want Sasori, wherever you are._ ' Deidara thought with minor frustration. ' _If this is your idea of a joke from beyond the grave, then it's a really crappy one. You should stick to your puppets regardless if you are dead or not._ '

* * *

It took a few days to find the right lake, and in the end it was worth it. The only thing that the trip held of value was the tailed beast known as the three tails. How they knew it was the right lake was because Deidara, being the crazy bomber he was, blew up two guys who were talking about the tailed beast. Dani overall was highly uncomfortable with not only the fact the two random guys were dead, but with how brutally they were killed. It made her shudder with a sickening feeling.

While Dani shuddered, Deidara had taken to the skies on a clay bird, just to release a bunch of other creature shaped clay bombs on the lake. The end result was one ticked off giant, three tailed turtle.

The ghost girl could only gape with a wide eyed look as the monstrosity that popped out of the lake. This was by far one of the scariest things she had ever seen. It was just huge and monstrous.

"I-is th-that…?" Dani stuttered.

"Yes, it is." Deidara confirmed, looking unfazed by it.

Before Dani could even say a word, one of the tailed beast's tails slammed down on Dani, smacking her underwater. She quickly became intangible, causing the tail to then go through her for the rest of its way down. Without a minute to lose, Dani shot out of the water and punched the turtle in its shell, causing her to fly backwards from all the force she put into her fist. She then tried again. And again. And again. All with similar results.

Deidara watch Dani trying and failing to punch the three tails as it lazily sat on the water. He resisted the urge to face palm (for a couple of reasons) at the sight he had in front of him. It was just pitiful. Just when he was about grab some clay, he saw Dani change tactics.

"Okay tough guy." Dani said. "Let's see if you're trunk is ticklish!"

Dani dodged the tails of the three tails as she flew downwards. She dove into the water and went right to the three tail's underside. Summoning some ghostly untethering that usually came along with flying, she applied that to the three tails and flew out of the water with it over her head. Deidara's jaw dropped in the "what the hell just happened" kind of way. That was just one thing he did NOT expect to happen, especially after being unable to make a dent in the three tail's super strong shell.

However, Dani's little stunt did not last. The three tails smacked Dani from out underneath itself, sending the ghost girl flying back a bit. This in turn caused the three tails to fall back into the lake.

"Aw come on!" Dani cried out in frustration.

Dani lit up her right hand with a large ball of ectoplasm. Just about when she was going to fire it, several large explosions occurred. The three tails became very disoriented from the blasts. It was no mystery that a certain blond bomber caused the explosions. Deidara was smirking from on top of his bird, relishing in the livid look in Dani's eyes.

"Hey!" Dani called out, dispelling the orb of ectoplasm. "I almost had it, you jerk!"

"By that, do you mean that getting swatted away was a part of this 'almost having it', hmmm?" Deidara asked. "To me it looked like you should have been tested against someone other than Hidan."

"What do you mean by that?" Dani asked.

"Hidan is the _weakest_ member in the Akatsuki." Deidara said, retaining the nasty smirk on his face. "You don't need an artistic genius like me to figure it out, hm. Besides, if it weren't for the fact that your 'blood' tastes bad, you would have been long dead by now."

By this point the three tails had recovered from the explosion. The look in its open eye was not a pleasant sight. Its cheeks then somehow began to bulge. It then spat out a gigantic water ball-esque projectile. Dani quickly flew at Deidara and turned them both intangible, allowing the projectile to pass right through them, destroying a good chunk of the forest behind them. Recognizing the sensation, Deidara pushed Dani away in irritation.

"I could have dodged that myself!" Deidara snapped at the ghost girl.

"Could have fooled me." Dani retorted, using a similar provoking method to the one Deidara used just a few minutes ago.

The three tails charged up another water projectile and fired at the duo. Both dodged the water bullet, causing yet another acre of land to be erased by water. Dani, getting tired of not being able of kick someone's butt, flew at the three tails and flew into it. A few seconds later, Deidara spotted the bright, ectoplasmic green glow in both of the tailed beast's eyes.

"Okay, this is super weird." Dani said in a struggling voice that was warped by the three tail's body. "I am not sure how long I can control this thing, so if you got anything that could knock this overgrown turtle out, you better do it now!"

Deidara, without a single gesture to let Dani know that he got the memo, pulled out a clay fish and tossed it into the lake. With a puff of smoke, the fish grew and began swimming towards the possessed tailed beast.

Dani continued to struggle to maintain control of the beast. It was fighting the control Dani asserted with her will. In essence, that was the very nature of any ghost's ability to overshadow was a battle of wills. The stronger the aggressor's will was, the more likely they would be able to maintain control over what they were possessing. If the victim's will was strong, then the battle would be a bit draining and could eventually lead the intruder to be thrown out. In this case, the three tails while intimidated by the intrusion, fought against the overshadowing, making it very difficult for Dani to keep a firm hold on it. This physically showed as the frequency of the three tail's eyes shifting from normal to Dani's increased with time. And that all came in company with the twitching fit that the beast went into.

By the time Deidara's clay fish arrived right next to the three tail's soft spot (the eyes); Dani got thrown out of the beast's body. The moment the beast noticed Deidara's bomb, it was too late. The clay fish had exploded in the beast's face, knocking it out.

Dani landed on the ground, huffing and puffing from how exhausted she was now. She fell over into her own puddle of sweat and reverted to her human form. She barely had any consciousness to maintain her ghost form and just remaining in said form for a long period of time was absolutely taxing.

Deidara saw her feeble form and rolled his eyes. From the way she was breathing, the blondie could tell that Dani was very much alive. Knowing he would be in huge trouble if he left his partner lying around like this, he stuffed Dani's semi-conscious body into the mouth of his clay bird. It was a bit relieving that she was too tired to complain about this decision, although he could have gotten a pretty good reaction from the little girl if that were the case.

He then made a long string out of clay, which fashioned itself into a form of bridle. Deidara tied it to his bird before hopping onto the three tails to do the same. After that, he made yet another bird and repeated the exact same thing. Satisfied with his work, the blond bomber hopped back onto the bird that housed the resting Dani.

Deidara looked up at the sunset that began. While they always occurred, each one was not only fleeting, but also unique, just like his art. He smiled, happy to know that nature agreed with his views on art. It was both refreshing and relaxing.

' _Heh, this would have made a great argument._ ' Deidara thought with a smirk. ' _Too bad you got killed by an old hag and some pink haired pre-pubescent kid. Then again, you also proved my point. Eternal my ass! I wish you could be here for just a few minutes so I could just rub this into your stoic, wooden face, Sasori!_ '

At that moment, a bright red cardinal flew overhead and pooped on Deidara's head. He quickly became ticked off by this and threw a clay flea at the bird, blowing up the pest in the process. If that was Sasori's way of saying "not on your life" or something like that. Deidara was starting to really regret thinking about how his former partner should have stuck to puppets earlier. And now, Deidara had to get bird crap out of his hair before it dried up, making it more difficult to get the foul substance out.

* * *

Binas: And I will stop here for now. I am open to suggestions. If you got any good ones on how to really shake up the scene (maybe even possibly change the entire outcome), go ahead and drop them by. And yes, I do plan on keeping the blond bomber alive. Sorry, but I found the battle between Deidara and Sasuke completely flawed, as in it broke even the show/manga's established rules. One of them being that if you attempt a jutsu like the summoning jutsu and Chidori with little to no chakra, you will either be knocked out for days, or you WOULD DIE. So by all logic, Sasuke should have died in that battle. And also, the steroids he was using should have left some serious side effects like they do in real life. I mean like, one woman used steroids and practically turned into a man after using them like how Sasuke did!

Sorry Sasuke, but this is where all my respect for you goes down the drain. You had a chance to become a favorite again (he lost that when he went with Orochimaru), but you blew it sky high. It will take a lot more than destroying all the ways to summon Kaguya and losing an arm to Naruto to give you even half of the former respect I had for you. With all the asspulls you pulled, I doubt you will even get my respect back.

 **Please note that I do not hate on Kishimoto for him letting Sasuke become like this. I blame the people who made it near impossible to do some research on both what he needs for something to work logically and within canon. Yes, his editors were hounding on him to rush Naruto chapters. I feel really sorry for him. I hate it when I get hounded on because it makes too much room for error and I would NEVER wish that on him. He helped me get into animation in general, and I own him a lot for that. If I never saw Naruto when I was eight years old, I would probably be not even writing this fanfic right now. Heck, I would probably not even be a Deidara fan. [** _ **Raises a water bottle.**_ **] So, to Kishimoto-sensei and his masterpiece known as Naruto! May he continue having great ideas.**


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